February 22, 2007

Creative Struggle

It's been a while now since I've added the last streaks on the star. It's not just because of the graveyard shifts I have been working, I am stuck. Stuck with this image but also stuck on a direction for my artwork. I feel I need to develop more, I just do not know in which direction. I drift between impressionist, realism and some hints of the abstract, but haven't found a way to balance and blend those styles into strong artwork. I've started doubting if I am an artist, if my work is good enough, if it has potential at all. So, for the first in a long time, I decided to do a reading.
I broke out my trusted old friend the Haindl to see if it would still speak to me after all this time. I was surprised to see that it did. It spoke to me on a deep, spiritual and abstract level. Only clearing away the fog so I could see better what I allready knew.
I've learned a long time ago that tarot can give you advise, but never the easy route that you desire. I struggle (5 of wands) too much at the moment because I want desperately to balance (Justice) and temper (Alchemy) my styles while they are still developing. I need to stop analysing (4 of swords), stop trying and start following nothing but my intuition (Fool) . I know where I want to end up with my style (ace of swords), but the journey cannot be forced.

1 comment:

Deanne said...

I am an artist too, and the road to finding out just who you are as an artist is not an easy one for some. I have had the same doubts as you. Technical ability is not enough. I am still not sure...I just try to enjoy the moment, the process, and not think about it too much. You know - the whole "live now, don't worry about tomorrow or fret about yesterday" sort of thing.